Is It Okay Not To Care?

I’m just curious, cousin, is it okay not to care? I am not saying you bump into someone and don’t say sorry, because you don’t care. Not that, that’s just blatant disrespect and it may get you popped. I’m talking about you just don’t care to caudle people and nurse their emotions sometimes.

I’m at a place in my life where I’m trying to become the best version of myself; mentally, physically, financially and spiritually. That growth, I’m sure, will come at a cost. I’m willing to incur the cost, because no one will invest in you more than you. I haven’t seen some of my core group of friends- no dinner dates, no movie nights, no nothing. I’m not upset or anything, I just haven’t been feeling social. Make no mistake, if they call me and need me, I’m there. No questions.

As cliche as it sounds, I’m really working on some things. No, I’m not sitting in a lab trying to cook up the cure for cancer, however, my mental well-being is my priority and “curing” it will be an ongoing process. I felt and feel like I have to pull back from everyone, especially if I’m not the upbeat person they are accustomed to. Think about it, you ever go out and there is that one person with the piss poor attitude? I’m talking, straight Debbie Downer, like you just side eye them the entire time and ask yourself, “Why s/he ain’t just stay they ass at home?!” Just thinking about it probably brought back memories. It’s okay, cousin, we’ve all been there. I do not want to be that person to anybody, so I choose to stay away. Occasionally, I’ll respond to a group chat or send a “🤣🤣” to a message on social media. Cousin, I know you’re probably thinking, “Well how are you a better cyber friend, than a real one?” Honestly, I can choose to respond or not, but if you’re in my face, I’m forced to deal with you and I can’t take that. I like to have options! If you see I saw your post and didn’t respond, you either send another message and guess what? I ignore that too. I know it sounds mean, but on the lowest of keys, I don’t care.

I DON’T CARE! ( I had to say that out loud to confirm it in my spirit) I don’t care if people feel some kind of way that I’ve been a little absentee, I don’t care if people think I’m hanging out with some other people, I don’t care if people think I’m “brand new”, none of it. When people have already written a poorly supported thesis or narrative on your life, why would you bother exhausting yourself trying to debunk that theory. That’s on them, not you.

I have an issue with always explaining myself when it’s not necessary. I care too much about not offending anyone or coming off some kind of way. Enough of that! Uncle-Daddy, Rickey Smiley, said the realest thing ever and he’s said it several times, “No, is a complete sentence that warrants no further explanation”….WHEW CHILE. A word. Can we pass the collection plate?

You can love people-friends and family and not want to be bothered with they ass. That doesn’t mean you’re a bad person or that they did anything to you. However, that doesn’t mean they won’t be in their feelings, but emphasis on “their”.

** Newsflash: If you don’t care, that’s cool too! You aren’t wrong! Don’t let anybody make you feel bad either.

Sometimes we get so caught up in caring about other people and their feelings, we neglect our own. No more, cousin!

Going forward in this second quarter of 2019, we’re moving differently and we aren’t caring who doesn’t understand why we’re operating the way we are.

Moral of the story: It’s okay not care, if you don’t think so, guess what? I don’t care.

❤E❤

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Don’t Call it a Comeback

Hey Cousin!

I know it’s been a while, life has just been taking me through some changes; I won’t say they’ve all been bad, but I’ve been wrapped up in myself.

Recently, I’ve been going through some internal battles, financially, mentally and spiritually. I guess we can throw physically in there, too. I’ll address that in another post, though.

To be honest, I’m spent. My faith in God started to waver and I was devastated. I don’t mean to get too churchy or offend anyone, but church, faith, God, etc has always been a staple in my life and super important to me. The fact I was having a hard time trusting God, really had me feeling defeated. I was believing God for you, him and her, but not for me. How does that even work, self? But that’s not what I want to write about. Maybe I’ll blog about my faith wavering and restoration in another post.

Just apologizing for not being consistent with y’all, but I’m going to do better. PROMISE

❤E❤

Did She Really Do THAT On Camera?

Warning: This post is more from my urban crowd, so please excuse the overwhelming slang, obvious misspellings and the strong choice of words.

Bitchhhhh, did y’all see how somebody just put Teairra Mari business out on the world wide web?!

I am still shocked when I see Revenge Porn make a black woman its victim, not because this is not black thing, but why the hell are women still allowing people to record them when they are doing the freaky sneaky?!?! I get it, I get it, I get it, everyone wants to keep the bedroom boomin’, but sis, you got to know the world ain’t on your side. I don’t even consider the person you’re booming with to be the reason for concern (IN SOME CASES). Technology has a mind of it’s own; you think you’ve saved that photo/video to your phone and then BOOM it’s uploaded on your social media or you’re HACKED and your ass, or in this case, your fellatio skills on display for all of the world to debate.

My phone has nothing exciting on it, but I remember getting on Facebook and at the top of the app, were my most recent photos in my gallery. Now there was a question as to whether or not, I wanted to upload them, but in the moment, my heart stopped because I knew if my Vienna Sausage fingers had their way, my bitness would’ve been all over the damn innanet. 

I am lowkey tight with Tearria, because I know sis knows better, especially coming from reality TV. Truth be told, I am tight with myself for being tight with Tearria. Follow me, she said she thought she was in love, thus the freaky sneaky with said negro. I can’t be mad at that! If sis, truly felt like she was in love with ol’ boy and they decided to record it, she is well within her rights to consent to that. If you turning up your nose, pipe down, she lives an extremely different lifestyle from the average person.  She knows how this shit plays out for women of color and it ain’t never for our good. I am even more pissed at you PoC, whose best thing to say is, “Well, at least she give better head than Blac Chyna”. WTF! Is that a compliment? Please let me know. Related image

I refuse to shade Tearria for her decision to be recorded! I am pissed with whomever hacked her and leaked the video, especially because the blogs are speculating that the man in the video might be the culprit Ain’t that about a bitch and a half? But, please correct me if I am wrong. Fellas, why is it that as soon as your relationship goes south, you act like an incorrigible child; throw a tantrum and reveal intimate moments between you and your ex, #QTNA? If no one has told you, that shit is NOT the move. I don’t believe for one minute, the whole “I didn’t think they would do you like that”. Negro, whatchu thought?! A woman can engage in oral sex with one man-her man, who she loves and when shit gets bad, you fix your mouth to call her a “Ho”,” THOT”, or whatever you hometown calls ‘those’ girls ( For my saved folk, Jezebels).

Sis, we have got to do better for the 2018. Do not give people enough rope to hang you. Tearria, don’t trip and definitely don’t be ashamed for being a grown up. We are all still learning. While I don’t advocate for violence solving anything, I will leave you this from Brother J. Cole, “Fool me one time shame on you, Fool me twice, can’t put the blame on you, Fool me three times, fuck the peace signs, Load the chopper, let it rain on you”

♥E♥

So, Y’all really mad at Childish Gambino?

Disclaimer: No, I am not bashing black men or white people! Keep reading!

I guess as long as he was out here puttin’ on for The Culture- you know, just black enough to make your blackness feel black enough, woke enough to wake the dead, and soulful enough to resurrect Don Cornelius, he is forever “invited to the BBQ”. To top it off, his This is America video gave us an uncomfortable dose of our history and culture, not really seen in urban music media, today. But justtttt as he was gettin’ his ‘Tata Salad, his significant other pops up. Let us pray! Now, we, the Black Women of America, just knew this sister was a sista! For the Americans, who don’t see the obvious difference, please hit me up so I may enlighten you. The gag is, Childish Gambino’s girl is light bright, pretty much white. Once the rest of the fam realized that she wasn’t a severely light skin sista, that standing invite got REVOKED! Boy, y’all quick with it.

Sistas, let’s be honest, y’all wouldn’t normally be checkin’ for Gambino. Don’t Act! He is artsy, a little clean cut, you know,”safe”. He looks like he may have been the black kid that had a slew of white friends, watches Anime and never cared if he didn’t have the latest Jordan whatevers. Y’all know good and hell well, that’s not our steelo.

Sidebar: I am seeing all the wildest posts about boycotting his music and Atlanta, like it’s not the best thing on FX. Negro please, I wish I might.

I don’t know why black men are so easily discarded when we, the Black Women of America, realize these men don’t have women of color on their arm. I am not sure if black men are as bothered by interracial dating- when they see black women with white/ non-black men, but us women, we will cancel Christmas on your ass. We just love hard- which is okay.

It’s that blatant disrespect of the black woman that makes us want to get your ass together, bruh. Who y’all fooling, like your black ass momma ain’t somewhere with a lil elbow fat cookinCollard Greens

However, I hate that it’s automatically implied that my black men lose their sense of blackness or “wokeness” because the woman on their arm is not black. I’m curious, is Childish Gambino not as “down” anymore?

Nate Parker, Omari Hardwick, Taye Diggs,and now Childish Gambino are just a few black men who are or have been in notable relationships with white women. Listen, sis, I still saw Birth of a Nation, I watch Power, I love Brown Sugar and I told y’all I am still watching Atlanta. I am not going to allow people’s significant others or bedroom buddies to dictate how I feel about their undeniable talent and contribution to the arts and culture.

dwayne-whitley
Thee Best “HBCU” Love Story 👆

As hard as it may be, please don’t let your ideation of what a black man is/will be/ can be, be based on his choice in a partner. I still want to believe you can love you who love and still be very much aware of the problems facing your respective ethnic group. Black men, date/marry/sleep with whomever you’d like, just don’t come for your sistas, who have literally put their ass on the line for you since the beginning of time.

♥E♥

Congrats, Grads!

‘Tis the season! Class of 2018! You made it, cousins!

Social Media definitely has its negatives, but I am LOVING all the photos, hashtags, videos, and testimonials. While I didn’t graduate with an advanced degree…yet, I know the feeling of fighting tooth and nail for a degree. It brings me so much joy seeing all the graduates, especially my PoC and those First Gen Graduates.

THIS IS YOUR MOMENT!

I am sure by now you’re living on the high of just being done with the papers, Blackboard, deadlines, and those damned group assignments. I remember those exact same feelings, but just being able to sleep in with no immediate responsibilities made my liver quiver. Oh, the days! What I didn’t expect was the feelings of severe anxiety, sadness and a level of fear that I wasn’t prepared for. “I graduated, I did it. I am done. I got it all figured it out. Can’t tell me nothing. Point me in the direction of my cubicle and my 40K salary” Tuh! Bullshitaki! I didn’t have a damn thing figured out and that is what scared me. Aside from being a woman, I have been a student my whole life! Now I am a graduate. Supposedly equipped with all the skills necessary to be an active, productive member of society. Too bad and there is no syllabus for life. Oh how easy that would be, every week, a detailed outlined of what to expect, and even a heads up when test day arrives. Could you imagine the heartbreak, the let downs and frustration we could save ourselves from if we knew life tests and how to prepare for them?!?!?

If you are feeling like you don’t know what is next, do not fret, you aren’t alone. It is perfectly fine. Depending on what your finances can take, give yourself a few days where you do NOTHING. If you don’t want to wash your ASSets, feel free, however, if you have a significant other or sheer decency, please wash your ass! College requires you and your brain to operate on all cylinders, so shutting down for a little bit will be beneficial. Trust me, I turned myself into a BUM! Best part, I didn’t let anyone make me feel bad about it. My family was super supportive of my Bumtastic behavior. Hell, I graduated Magna Cum Laude. I earned it!

Sidebar: University of Florida, y’all tried the hell out of those graduates. Really? Obliterating a once in a lifetime moment because of being “inappropriately aggressive”- UF & The Foolery . So these graduates didn’t walk across the stage in a Royal Family manner, now they are treated like they crashed THEIR own damn graduation. I like UF’s nerve. Kick Rocks! This is why HBCU graduations will forever make my heart smile. Straight #WakandaForever! And No, I didn’t graduate from an HBCU.

Whether you graduated with the highest honors or you were just honored to be at graduation, you revel in this moment, especially if you’re a PoC of First Gen. The sacrifices made for your very moment will not be understood by many, but I GET IT!

Turn that tassel, jump for Jesus or whomever you pray to and tell the world, you are #DEGREED!

♥E♥

And The Emmy Goes To…..

Can we all just admit that every major award season is really just secondary to its FASHION. The Primetime Emmy’s aired last night and almost everybody came out in their Sunday Best. Now, I am no fashion critique extraordinaire, so I can’t tell you who is wearing what (I lowkey don’t care, because I can’t afford any of it), but I do want to share some of my favorites.

One of my favorites goes to a woman who should have nothing to be “Insecure” about- Issa Rae!

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And she has no back fat, no side boob fat. JUST FLAWLESS!

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Grade: A+

Notable Mentions: The Up-Do paired with her bare neck gives her an elegant, simplistic, timeless beauty. The light makeup, gives her a clean finish with just enough on her eyes to draw you in. For me, the most attractive element of the ensemble is, while standing on a red carpet, in a red dress, she still stands out and there is no question as to whether she is a pillar, a post or a the PRIZE! This is NATURAL, GOD-GIVEN BEAUTY at its best! Well done, Issa. #LawrenceHive where y’all at?!

Going forward, these will be in no particular order.

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Julia Louis-Dreyfus

She will forever be Elaine, from Seinfeld to me, but she has proven herself to be quite the red carpet success story. I am a sucker for wearing black to any and all functions. This dress hugs her small frame, perfectly and gives just enough train to be dramatic, but not enough to be the cause of a major wipeout. The yellow detail take the dress up a notch and breaks up the monotonousness (That might not be a word) that an all black dress can create. Her face looks fresh. The bare neckline works for her. She won an Emmy!

Grade: A

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Anna Chlumsky

My Girl, my girl, my girl. I love me some you, but I don’t know if her stylist got the bags mixed up and gave her the after party dress to put on, but I don’t know if I am feeling this. She looks beautiful in the face, but the fact the she looks like a linear disco ball is not sitting well with me. I guess this is one of those high fashion risks. Her silouhette looks AMAZEBALLS, but the lip color and the hair are not moving me. Poor thing looks likes she has been through a wind tunnel. I have seen her in years past and been far more pleased. This left me a little underwhelmed.

Grade: C-

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Leslie Jones

STOP THE PRESS! She is probably my second favorite. Look here, Leslie DID NOT come to play games. I am here for this entire look! Leslie just turned 50, yet she gave us some leg and some boob action. I don’t like how social media dogs her, because she may not have that “traditional beauty” or whatever the hell Amber Rose was talking about. She is African American-big lips, big nose, big face, big beauty. I love all the sheer and sequins and y’all know how I feel about a good ol’ black number on the red carpet. Leslie Jones is about to add “Sexy” to that resume! Whoever styled her gets a hats off!

Grade: A+

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Viola Davis

She is kind. She is smart. She is important. Most of all, she is stunning. Orange is not really in my wardrobe, but I may have to change that. I won’t give Aunty Viola too much because she knew she was killing the game before she left the house.

Grade: A

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Felicity Huffman

This dress was gorgeous and it looked even better on her. I have nothing but good things to say about this ensemble. My only wish is that her hair would have been up or is a nice, sleek ponytail to the back. I would’ve loved to see those earrings, that strong, youthful neck and I think I would’ve appreciated the neckline of the dress more. One of her best looks to date!

Grade: A-

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Susan Sarandon

She will forever be the dying mom, in the movie Stepmom, opposite Julia Roberts. I absolutely love the color and cut of this dress. The long sleeves gives off a very regal flair. Something from the cleavage and up is missing the “it” factor for me.

Grade: B

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Regina King

This is truly an American Crime….To look as good as she does. Regina consistently hits the mark at these Emmy’s. My only hang up: It’s a lot of skin. Lowkey, im jealous because that skin is anointed!!! The high split, arms out and the deep neckline is a bit much for me, but she is working it. I would take some modesty in the chest area, but I am not mad at the overall look.

Grade: A-

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Tracee Ellis Ross 2017
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Ellis 2016

Typically, I would NEVER look down on Joan Clayton (You’re not a fan, if you think I made a mistake there),but baby! What happened? Was this look a lost bet? The only thing that gives me comfort in all this calamity is that, I know you love fashion and you always aim to make a statement. I am here for the cornrows though! This was bit of a fashion blunder for me. This is why Dre takes shots at you on Black-ish, because this is a Rainbow original. The late, Donna Summer and your wonderful mom, Diana Ross can appreciate this look. What happened since last year, honey?? In the future, leave this one on the rack in Satan’s consignment shop. Anyone else would have received a failing grade, but, between your talent, your lineage, and rapping skills, I’ll never go in too hard. You are still one of my favorites though!

Grade: C- or D+

This award show showcased some really great fashions. There are still a few that i missed, but I am a busy bee. Feel free to share any opposing views in the comments and some of your own favorites. Don’t take anything I say too deep, it’s just fashion…….

Story Time: An Uncomfortable Decision

Cousin!  If you’ve been living under a rock, let me bring you up to speed; it’s Hurricane Season. If you live/d in certain parts of the world, you know that Hurricane Season is probably the worst part of the year, aside from SoFlo and their summer time temperatures all year round. I have never experienced anything as severe as Katrina, Andrew, or most recent Harvey and Irma-kinda sorta. Many blessings to anyone affected by the most recent set of natural disasters-Hurricanes, Wildfires, Earthquakes, etc. Lowkey, this hike in gas prices is a natural disaster to my pocket, but that’s beside the point.

Hurricane Irma presented herself in the ocean some days ago and from the time I saw it, I knew this storm was coming toward SoFlo with a vengeance. I am not one of those people who likes to test Mother Nature and wait for the “storm to turn” or pray it away and not prepare. Let me be clear, I prayed for the storm to turn (and it did), but someone once told me, “Faith without work is dead”, therefore, while I wanted the storm to turn and I made sure I prepared myself and my family. Worst case scenario, the storm diverts and I am blessed to have all this food and water and electricity at my disposal. This is just for free, when you’re praying for a storm not to hit and “go somewhere else”, be careful because there are people somewhere else, so pray for their strength and wherewithal in the midst of destruction. I’m off the soapbox now, cousin.

Okay, now I know you’re wondering, what the hell my poorly arranged natural disaster spiel have to do with the title of this blog, just hold on cousin, I’ll tell you. When I realized that Hurricane Irma was coming into my neck of the woods as a possible Category 4, I called my aunt in The A, and let her know what was going on and she told me to pack everybody up and come on. Just a quick geographical note, in case you forgot, Florida is sitting next to the Atlantic Ocean and then the Gulf of Mexico on the other side. In short: YOU GET A FLOOD, YOU GET A FLOOD, YOU GET A FLOOD! The Lord didn’t give me gills, phins or that Michael Phelps, therefore battling the flood wasn’t looking too good to me. I consistently saw that my family was dragging their feet and in my opinion taking it a little too lightly. No shade to them, they’re Jamaica to di whirl!! Cousin, don’t act like you don’t have some island relatives, you know they would want to ride out the storm in their own space because “Bad mon nuh fraid ah no storm”!

The days leading up to the storm, our area was still in the cone of catastrophe and I am not afraid to say it, I HAVE NO SURVIVAL SKILLS! I wasn’t a Girl Scout, Super Trooper, or MacGyver. I am not made to tough it like that. I didn’t want to be one of those people who was sitting on their roof waving for help, walking in the waist deep water trying to find shelter or literally fighting to safe myself and my family. I am being so honest with you, cousin, I understand people who have been in the aforementioned situations, didn’t wish that upon themselves and I was going to need to be proactive if I didn’t want to have that same fate.

So……..

I left by myself, no family, no nothing. Cousin, now I know you over there with the screwed up face. I love the shit out of my family, but I am also understanding different facets of adulthood. No one wanted to leave for a number of reasons which was fine with me, but I cleared it! Now the storm did shift and we didn’t take a direct hit and I am still glad I left. Hell the Hurricane lowkey followed me on a smaller scale though. I know you’re probably thinking, what about the time and the money, hell the family…. Time is fixed, how you spend it is variable, I spent $47 in gas leaving the state and my family was accepting as to whatever lay ahead of them when they watched me pull off.  When I left, everybody was on the “We didn’t think you were serious….Oh, you were serious….You just left us”, the worst part is, I laugh and think to myself, hell damn yes and I would do it again. You can only relate this if you got some island in your blood: You never go against the grain and you had better tread lightly when you start trying to chart your own path because someone will mess around, get in their feelings and have you feeling like you’re the bad guy.

I want to encourage you cousin, especially if you’re a young adult, the decisions that you make may be unfavorable to some people around you, which I think may have the potential to be the best ones. If you’re popping pills, living life with no ambition, putting yourself in immediate danger, then you are going to need to reevaluate. Send me a message and I will pray for whatever may be afflicting you. When you’re living your life, as hard as it may be, you have got to be firm in your stance and make some uncomfortable decisions. If you’re not feeling any level of discomfort, you may have become too complacent and you’re not growing like you need to. This little solo excursion of mine was really an eye-opening experience for my inner bad ass. I know now, more than ever, I cannot deny myself certain decisions for fear of how it will be make someone else feel-even family. I am not telling you to give everyone the middle finger and do you, but I am telling you, people don’t get to make your decisions and then you live with the consequences. That shit just ain’t right!

♥E♥

The Friend Zone: Not As Bad As You Think

Ladies, brace yourself this may be a long one😩

I am just curious, have you ever been put in the Friend Zone?

**Warning: Men, you may not want/need to read this blog, although I think you should, but I am really talking to my sisters in this one.**

Let me start off with this so we have some kind of foundation to work with. I am the girl who is always the least experienced in her group of friends😇. Either I haven’t tried/ done it or by the time I got around to it, everybody else had come, they saw, they conquered and they had moved on. Honestly, I am okay with that because I have genuine friends, so they never made me feel like a square-unless we’ve been drinking and let’s just say, no subject is off limits.  The memories!

⚠Disclaimer: I am not, nor will I ever be the authority on relationships, but per my “About Me”, I will always be as honest with you guys as humanly possible. Even with my limited experience in the game, there are still some things, I feel qualified to delve into, just being a woman. If you’re a millennial, like myself, you know all about the “Friend Zone”.  There is nothing worse than being in the Friend Zone when you “know” damn well you and that person could be so good together. Let me tell you sis, while the Friend Zone may not be the move and it definitely doesn’t provide any cute photos for the ‘Gram, doesn’t take you on dates, or make you its #WCW, all things being equal, that Friend Zone will hopefully do the following:  keep your feelings from being hurt, keep you from feeling tried/ disrespected and not have you out here ready to lose your marbles, asking yourself, “What are me and (insert triflin ass man here) even doing?”. Sis, what are you even talking about? Don’t nobody wanna be in no damn Friend Zone. I hear you. I promise.

Let me be clear like crystal, all bets are off if you let the man take you down on your momma couch in some polo socks and then he hits you with the Friend Zone shit. THAT. IS. A. PROBLEM😠👊!  If you know like I know, he will need to be BLOCKED, because he means you NO good. I would have all the respect in the world for a guy, if he would just be forthright and open and tell you something along the lines of, “I am not necessarily looking to date right now, but you’re mad cool and I still want us to hang.” **There ain’t a millennial guy that is that in tune with his own emotions to come up with some sensible shit like that, but for the sake of the discussion, we’ll go with it** Back to what I was originally saying, so homeboy tells you this, what do you do? Sis, the ball is in your court. The Friend Zone is where he wants to put you, but he came out and told you, so give them man credit for that.

While it may be hard, please don’t allow your girls to make you feel like you’ve stepped in shit, when you got friend zoned. It isn’t the end of world. Don’t look at the Friend Zone like it’s some dark cloud hanging over you that everyone can see, especially because if you’re still cool with him, you can keep tabs on the man’s relationship status-You know your petty, inch high-private eye, ass would be checking all his social media anyway looking for the slightest scent of some girl’s Bath &Body Works, all-time favorite, Sweet Pea! That was every girls first grown up perfume!  Who knows sis, if you ever work up the courage, maybe, just maybe, you can get it there and shoot your shot. Now that doesn’t mean stop everything you’re doing, miss out on a good man while trying to see when this man will notice you for the Queen you are. You’re in the Friend Zone and the line is clearly drawn in the sand. Sis, it is up to you to define the terms of the zone; do you want to be FWB( Are they some PPO or HMO benefits, because THERE IS A DIFFERENCE)? You BETTER know how to get yours and leave and don’t get caught up in the fairy tale because your feelings WILL. BE. HURT!! Or do you truly just want to be his friend? I have heard several people say that’s not possible, which may be the case if you have romantic feelings for the person. I had to learn that there is nothing wrong with liking someone, but the problem comes in when you like someone, wayyyyyyy more than they like you and they use that shit to their advantage.

Sis, I want you to lift your head up so that crown doesn’t slip!! I strongly believe there is nothing wrong with being put in the Friend Zone. That is the perfect opportunity to play the field. See what’s out there. Let your hair down, breakout of your comfort zone, but be safe and don’t compromise yourself for a good time and definitely don’t turn into an old shrew because some guy has you “in your feelings”. Appreciate the guy that put you in the Friend Zone straight out the gate. He will probably be one of the realest men you meet. Now if you got yourself all emotionally invested when that man EXPLICITY told you what it was (SMDH), we will go ahead and add you to prayer list, so this mistake is not made again📿🙏.

Sis, I intended to touch on another topic in this post, but for the sake of your time, I am going to create a part deux. Like always, I thank you so much for reading and please stay tuned for part 2!

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♥E♥

Workplace Woes 😩

One of the many things I pride myself on is my ability to remain professional under any circumstance in the workplace. The average person, would probably think “Duh!”, but that is because they aren’t working with 2017 Cybil.

Cousin, let me tell you- This woman (we will continue to call her 2017 Cybil) literally has some people in her head. I really don’t mean to joke about mental illness, but just go with it for right now. From Monday morning to Friday afternoon, I have experienced about a half dozen people and I only sit next to ONE person. Can you sense my frustration?! I don’t know if I should burn sage, run for the hills, play dead or a combination of all 3. Yes, I am dramatic! I am not trying to be pompous when I say, if you don’t like me, there is more than likely something wrong with you. Read me out: I don’t talk about hotbed issues in mixed company-No race, no religion, no politics, no nothing. I sometimes don’t even talk, just so I can’t be accused of jading or slighting anyone. I clock in with my earbuds in my ear to ensure I have no reason to participate in small talk- WHICH I HATE! I haven’t been working there that long, so I don’t even feel like I want to really talk about anything outside of work. I have a good sense of humor, a keen sense of hygiene-that is not even a given in 2017 anymore.

So now that we know that I am not the problem (I swear I do my best to keep myself small, and I am a whole lot of woman), let me tell you guys about 2017 Cybill. The biggest issue I have, she talks like it is in her job description. Don’t get me wrong, we all need a

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slight break from the work, but she consistently wants to talk and has the nerve to want you to join in on her foolery. She will talk about ANYTHING for minimum 10 mins, which is a lifetime when you’re on a deadline. I have now started myself on the path of going deaf, because my music is so loud to the point that I can’t even hear when the work phone rings because I have drown out talking ass 2017 Cybil. Once again, I am still fairly new so there are moments when I have a question. If I ask someone other than 2017 Cybil, cousin, would you believe this woman starts huffing and puffing like the big bad wolf?! Now let me tell you, I make it my mission to not exhaust any one person with too many questions. Fair enough, I thought. Honey, I asked her another question later in the day and she shrugged her shoulders and said “Well just do what you want, I don’t really care. It doesn’t matter”. Jesus take the wheel and drive fast!!! Needless to say my jaw dropped. She was really that butt hurt! I guess her Menopause was acting up or something.

Now if it’s not abundantly clear by my writing style and overall tone, I am clearly a member of the melanated (No Typo) community. Well what does race have to do with this…..Follow me, I have no choice but take was she said in stride. If you’re melanated, you know what I mean. I get that we all have shit that happens and we deal, but when you’re a PoC, that takes on a whole new meaning. I cannot afford to live up to some “rolling of the neck, finger pointing, loud talking, cussing and fussing” stereotype, because let’s be honest, I. CAN. NEVER. COME. BACK. AFTER. THAT. Furthermore, I have owe the student loan goons too much money not to work. Meanwhile, 2017 Cybill has had several issues with HR and another employee and she is still very much employed. I do not intend to make this a race issue nor am I insisting that she be fired. She is 50+ years old, so she is old enough to be my mom and I don’t want to shorten my days on earth by letting her have it, but she is riding my last nerve. Most people are nice-nasty, but she is nasty-nasty-semi nice AKA working on a tongue lashing from me. It takes a lot to rile me up, so I know this lady is the problem child. Then there are days where she wants to all in my personal space and talk like she is Dr. Phil and some girl interrupted. I do NOT discuss my personal life at work, not that I have much of one, but you catch my drift. This is just what I had the energy to tell you about. 2017 Cybil is worse than a hemorrhoid. Yes, I went there. I would be able to deal with the incessant talking and attitude if it was consistent, but this all over nation behavior is just not what I signed up for.

I had to get this off my chest so I don’t lose my marbles and my damn job. I know that she is not my first Cybil derivative and I know I am not on my own on this,cousin. If you read this far, I truly do thank you. I know I kept you for a while cousin, but if you got nothing else from this, just remember not to let anyone or anything take you outside of your character. And you guys know my motto, since I can’t talk about it, I write about it.

♥E♥

Ting-A-Ling A Ling, School Bell A Ring

I hope the title of this blog post gave you a good laugh. Big Ups to Shabby Ranks for this oldie, but goody. This isn’t about Shabby Ranks though.

Cousin, you back in school, yet? It’s August, so more than likely you’re back in school or literally on the way. I just wanted to check in with you before the assignments start rolling in. I hope you have a great semester! I won’t say year, because if you’re classified as anything greater that a freshman, you know how important it is to take it one semester at a time. I remember the level anxiety I had at the beginning of a semester- I walked into every class just a nervous as Diamond was at her first table dance (Name the movie, cousin!!). The blessing in all that was, as a college student, you know that you can slide in and out of a class until add/drop is over. You can decide which professor’s brand of crazy, you can deal with. I mean, let’s be honest, ratemyprof, still leaves a lot to be desired. If you get nothing else from my rambling, cousin, PUHLEEZE read that damn syllabus. I know it’s tedious, but in the long run, you’ll save yourself at least one mental breakdown. Just read the first 3-4 pages, I find those are usually specific to the class. The last few pages are University policies, Department contacts, AKA information you probably (hopefully) never have to use.

GET A PLANNER, AGENDA, DAY BOOK, WALL CALENDAR, E-CALENDAR OR SOMETHING TO KEEP ON TRACK!!

Sorry for yelling🙃.

Make sure you learn/ continue to the art of time management. I’m not even talking in terms of getting work done, but I really want to make sure you carve out some time for your You time. Y’all know I don’t play about my me time. I think we’ve taken for granted how important mental health can be, especially for my PoC. You know we don’t believe in therapists, because that makes you “crazy”. Listen here, talk to somebody if shit is feeling dark and bleak. Back to time management though, be in control of your time. You too damn grown to be on that “I’ll get to it” mentality. Those papers WILL NOT write themselves. Let’s be honest, you’ll procrastinate. You. Will. Procrastinate. It’s okay. It’s the only Way… I think! Give yourself the opportunity to enjoy college and all that comes with it. Start that work early, revel in your you time, go to a campus event- You have already paid for it. You can save yourself a couple mental breakdowns if your time management skills are A1.

Priorities, cousin. Priorities! And limit your distractions- including people! You know who they are! You know what’s important. Therefore, I’m not about hold your hand on this. Play like you don’t know time it is. When you’re in college spending THOUSANDS of dollars, make sure it’s money well spent AKA get the job done damnit! Don’t be away for 4+ years and come home with a Liberal Arts Degree-Barely! No tea, no shade, cousin, but just know somebody will be staring at you when we’re praying over the food. I didn’t mean to scare you cousin, but I need you to understand. While I want you to enjoy all the facets of college: the people, the parties, the Greek life (S/O to the NPHC), clubs/organizations and whatever the hell else is going on in college now. DO NOT LOSE SIGHT OF THE OVERARCHING GOAL. Do you really want to look up at the end of your 4 years and be no closer to graduation than a freshman?
It’s college. It’s not free and it’s not easy. With that being said, allow yourself to be human, cousin. Accept the fact that you may not the smartest one in the class. You may have studied for hours and still got a C (Rejoice, cousin. You passed!) You may even have to change that major a few times. You may even get put on academic probation. I don’t mean to convey a light tone, but I don’t want to gas you up too much. It’s going to be a fight to get this degree, especially if you have personal goals for yourself. No one wants to fall down for obvious reasons. I found out during my junior year, second semester- IT’S OKAY TO FALL. For one, we all don’t fall the same. What’s a fall for me, may be a pebble in your shoe. For two, sometimes, you might just have to fall down and let everything you’ve been carrying drop. “Oooh no, cousin whatchu saying?” I’m saying, FALL. It’s fine. When you get your assets up again, you’ll realize, I don’t need to carry that, that or that over there.

If you read this far, bless you. I didn’t get an English degree or a Journalism degree, so making sure this blog post and the ones to follow are grammatically correct, IS NOT/ WILL NOT be my biggest charge. I bet your ass was still able to read it though. Mhmm. Cousin, I have kept you long enough. Go read those syllabi like I told you. Be intentional about your collegiate career. Let me know of your successes throughout the semester so I can shout you out. Remember, no accomplishment is ever too small to be celebrated.

♥E♥