The Friend Zone: Not As Bad As You Think

Ladies, brace yourself this may be a long one😩

I am just curious, have you ever been put in the Friend Zone?

**Warning: Men, you may not want/need to read this blog, although I think you should, but I am really talking to my sisters in this one.**

Let me start off with this so we have some kind of foundation to work with. I am the girl who is always the least experienced in her group of friends😇. Either I haven’t tried/ done it or by the time I got around to it, everybody else had come, they saw, they conquered and they had moved on. Honestly, I am okay with that because I have genuine friends, so they never made me feel like a square-unless we’ve been drinking and let’s just say, no subject is off limits.  The memories!

⚠Disclaimer: I am not, nor will I ever be the authority on relationships, but per my “About Me”, I will always be as honest with you guys as humanly possible. Even with my limited experience in the game, there are still some things, I feel qualified to delve into, just being a woman. If you’re a millennial, like myself, you know all about the “Friend Zone”.  There is nothing worse than being in the Friend Zone when you “know” damn well you and that person could be so good together. Let me tell you sis, while the Friend Zone may not be the move and it definitely doesn’t provide any cute photos for the ‘Gram, doesn’t take you on dates, or make you its #WCW, all things being equal, that Friend Zone will hopefully do the following:  keep your feelings from being hurt, keep you from feeling tried/ disrespected and not have you out here ready to lose your marbles, asking yourself, “What are me and (insert triflin ass man here) even doing?”. Sis, what are you even talking about? Don’t nobody wanna be in no damn Friend Zone. I hear you. I promise.

Let me be clear like crystal, all bets are off if you let the man take you down on your momma couch in some polo socks and then he hits you with the Friend Zone shit. THAT. IS. A. PROBLEM😠👊!  If you know like I know, he will need to be BLOCKED, because he means you NO good. I would have all the respect in the world for a guy, if he would just be forthright and open and tell you something along the lines of, “I am not necessarily looking to date right now, but you’re mad cool and I still want us to hang.” **There ain’t a millennial guy that is that in tune with his own emotions to come up with some sensible shit like that, but for the sake of the discussion, we’ll go with it** Back to what I was originally saying, so homeboy tells you this, what do you do? Sis, the ball is in your court. The Friend Zone is where he wants to put you, but he came out and told you, so give them man credit for that.

While it may be hard, please don’t allow your girls to make you feel like you’ve stepped in shit, when you got friend zoned. It isn’t the end of world. Don’t look at the Friend Zone like it’s some dark cloud hanging over you that everyone can see, especially because if you’re still cool with him, you can keep tabs on the man’s relationship status-You know your petty, inch high-private eye, ass would be checking all his social media anyway looking for the slightest scent of some girl’s Bath &Body Works, all-time favorite, Sweet Pea! That was every girls first grown up perfume!  Who knows sis, if you ever work up the courage, maybe, just maybe, you can get it there and shoot your shot. Now that doesn’t mean stop everything you’re doing, miss out on a good man while trying to see when this man will notice you for the Queen you are. You’re in the Friend Zone and the line is clearly drawn in the sand. Sis, it is up to you to define the terms of the zone; do you want to be FWB( Are they some PPO or HMO benefits, because THERE IS A DIFFERENCE)? You BETTER know how to get yours and leave and don’t get caught up in the fairy tale because your feelings WILL. BE. HURT!! Or do you truly just want to be his friend? I have heard several people say that’s not possible, which may be the case if you have romantic feelings for the person. I had to learn that there is nothing wrong with liking someone, but the problem comes in when you like someone, wayyyyyyy more than they like you and they use that shit to their advantage.

Sis, I want you to lift your head up so that crown doesn’t slip!! I strongly believe there is nothing wrong with being put in the Friend Zone. That is the perfect opportunity to play the field. See what’s out there. Let your hair down, breakout of your comfort zone, but be safe and don’t compromise yourself for a good time and definitely don’t turn into an old shrew because some guy has you “in your feelings”. Appreciate the guy that put you in the Friend Zone straight out the gate. He will probably be one of the realest men you meet. Now if you got yourself all emotionally invested when that man EXPLICITY told you what it was (SMDH), we will go ahead and add you to prayer list, so this mistake is not made again📿🙏.

Sis, I intended to touch on another topic in this post, but for the sake of your time, I am going to create a part deux. Like always, I thank you so much for reading and please stay tuned for part 2!

♥E♥